What do you tell yourself? What do you constantly say – and hear – in the spaces where no one else listens? In the breaths between your everyday tasks? In those moments between brushing your teeth and fixing your hair? What does that monologue sound like?
What do you truly believe about yourself?
Can we do an exercise together for just one moment? Let’s think of something currently outside of our reach. It could be anything: from running a marathon, to climbing a mountain, to having a clean home, or even impressing the head of your company who doesn’t even know you exist.
Got something? I do. My “something”? It’s being a successful business owner who simultaneously changes the world while making a substantial income. You’ve heard mine; do you have yours? Let’s do this!
Here’s the exercise: set a timer for 10 minutes. Now, close your eyes. Go ahead, I will still be here when you’re done. Now, with your eyes closed, think about your “something.” Pay attention to every last thought that pops into your head for these next 10 minutes. Write every one down. Got it? Let’s do this together.
These are the things that I thought of over a 10 minute period:
- No one will listen to me.
- I don’t know how to lead.
- I don’t know what to do.
- I am too shy.
- I am too cerebral.
- I’m too much of a nerd.
- I can’t.
- I don’t know how.
- I could travel.
- I could stay home.
- I’m too much.
- Who would follow me?
- Can I do this without compromising integrity?
- Where will I find the time?
- I don’t have anything else to give.
- If I just had an hour a day that I could dedicate to it, I could make this work.
- If I just had step-by-step guidance, I could do this.
- I’m not used to not being good at something.
- I might fail.
- What if I succeed?
- I don’t know how to build a team.
- What do I have to offer that the next girl doesn’t have?
- I’m smart. I can figure this out.
- If she can do it, I can do it. I just have to figure out how.
- Can anyone relate to me?
- Writing and teaching are my passions. How can I incorporate them?
- I have to make a system.
- I need to schedule.
- I need structure.
- My most valuable commodity is time. If I can make this happen, I will have more of it.
- Is it sustainable?
- Is it stable?
- How do I prevent burnout?
Did you make your list? Now, read it. What are your common themes? What is your focus? Is your inner monologue positive, negative, or a little bit of both? You can see in my list above that I have some positive thoughts, but I would say that most thoughts are motivated by fear. Fear is *my* focus. Most of the things that I tell myself are truly fear-based responses. What about you? What motivation do you see coming through in your thoughts?
I want you to take that list and highlight the positive statements. Actually go and take a highlighter to them. Now, look at the remaining statements. How can you rephrase them? How can you contradict those negative statements floating around in your head?
Write a positive statement that is in direct opposition to your negative thought. Write it out. Go on.
Guess what? Those positive statements? They’re going to help us with the second part of this exercise. Wanna know what that is? We are going to craft affirmations. Here’s the thing that you may not realize: those negative thoughts above? They probably indicate something that is important to you. And if it is something that is of importance to you? It’s probably either a part of your life that you value or a part of your life that you’d like to improve. In either case, the way to enhance that part of your life?
Change the way you think about it. Change what you believe about it.
And the way to do that? Craft affirmations that mean something to you. That have power. That you can focus on every single day. We'll do that exercise next time.
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